


All the Ashes in my Wake

by Doctor_Susan_Holmes



Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26461678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Susan_Holmes/pseuds/Doctor_Susan_Holmes
Summary: Taking on the POV of the Weeping Monk throughout Season 1 of Cursed with a slight story derivation from canon:What if the Weeping Monk intercepted Nimue after her meeting with Merlin to bring her to father Carden. What if on the jorney back a conversation between the two ensues, their pasts and secrets are revealed and strange feelings start to arise, that will change each of their lifes and future events irrevocably?
Relationships: Arthur & Red Spear | Guinevere (Cursed), Nimue & The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This picks up in episode 3 "Alone" in the Abbey, when Father Carden, the Weeping Monk and the other Red paladins sit over the maps and scrolls about the Fey Folks and their whereabouts from the POV of the Weeping Monk.
> 
> I also like to call it "the scene" because this is literally when I started to ship Nimlot and my obsession with the Weeping Monk began :D

When I stride into the room, my father and his most trusted paladins are already deep in conversation, planning their next move against the Fey. Or rather demons... A nun is bustling around the room, filling their cups with wine and cleaning away the discarded ones.

I've always found it questionable to hold such important meetings with any of them present. There is always a certain kind of paranoia and suspicion that arises in me, even though I know these girls and women support our cause, supply vital aid to our wounded and are also so insignificant that they wouldn't even really pose a threat to us. Yet, I also don't quite agree with my father and the other palladins that these nuns are completely ignorant and stupid, as they think them to be, just because they are not men. A good warrior should underestimate no one.  
But I've already told father as much once and he did not want to hear of it... Instead, he had been angry with me for questioning him and his better judgement... I did not question him again after his reminder. 

Luckily for me, the nun is done with her tasks now and makes to leave the room. It's a relief. Seeing that what I'm about to give the council might be the key to winning this war and getting rid of all those demons at long last. Only father and his most trusted advisers should know of this. We can't risk this information leaking to Fey sympathizers, as it contain vital knowledge on the whereabouts of the different Fey people and their characteristics, any special abilities that might make them tougher foes. 

Not that they would stand a chance against me either way, but for the other Red Palladins this could mean the difference betwen life and death... Information they should have had earlier... Information they should have had of her... The Wolfblood Witch... before invading her village and going up against her... Now one of father's men – Brother Odo – had paid the price, battling for his life as they speak... 

I haven't had a chance to look at the scriptures myself yet, but I hope they contain information on her and her people: The Sky Folk...  
Actually, I never concern myself with the names of the Fey and what their individual people are called when we cleanse them. They are all demons to me. But hearing this particular name... It rattles something in me. Some knowledge. Some old memory I had long since buried deep inside me.  
Something treacherous... Evil... 

A woman's voice. Soft and enchanting, telling stories of different mighty fey demons and their respective Folks and customs – the Sky Folk being one of the most renown Fey folks – to a little boy sitting before her in rapt attention... Oddly enough the the little boy resembles the one I came across in the woods... the one I let live... 

Dear Lord forgive me... Father would certainly punish me if he knew. Knew how weakness had once again overpowered me and made me do something utterly foolish and despicable in the eyes of God. There were to be no exceptions! All of them were demons and the children had to be cleansed most of all, to stop them from spreading their evil further! I knew that... I reminded myself of it daily. And still, I had not been able to kill that boy... Again I had strayed my hand while encountering a child... Foolish. Pathetic. Weak. Disgraceful. Deserving of punishment... I would have to see to that later... 

However, for now, I quickly make my way to the table and place the scrolls and maps there. I found them on the demons I killed in the forest after we cleansed the Sky Folk's settlement... Again I'm reminded of the boy and I can't stop the treacherous thought from occupying my mind. Wondering whether he has made it to one of their safe places... No it is definitely not concern for his life that makes me wonder. I am just curious if he actually got to rely his message to the other demons. I'm anticipating their reaction to it. Relishing that they will likely fret and panic, knowing I will find them sooner rather than later and end their sinful existence once and for all... 

“Well done, my son,” my father laudes me, ripping me out of my thoughts – thankfully. “It’s only a matter of time for the demons now!” He says with a victorious chuckle on his lips as he turns to the gathered Paladins. “Now we just need to find that sword...”  
I perk up at that and want to ask him again to grant me the honour of going after the witch demon now and secure the sword. Now that the Sky Folk is dealt with and the red paladins have the means to find the other demons without relying solely on my help, I would be dispensible. I can put all my efforts and focus into sniffing her out, before she can cause any worse damage to us and our cause.  
I'm perfect for that task! Surely father will agree.

However, I don't get to make my request. Because suddenly my senses prickle. My focus shifts away from the ensuing discussions and I abruptly become aware of a change inside the room. A distinct energy and smell has started to permeate it and the whole Abbey for that matter.

That smell... That shift in atmosphere... I should have noticed it sooner... Damn my stupid thoughts and preoccupied mind for that... I scold myself and then quickly cast all distracting thoughts from my mind, purely focusing on the scent I just picked up.

Someone Fae-blooded is here! It is not a human aura I'm sensing, and it definitely doesn't belong to one of the red paladins in this room... And there's something else about it... Something different... something other... It is not just some normal Fey-blood... And... I've actually come across this particular scent before... Could it be... That nun that was in here just now!

I turn around to see whether she is still here. But there's no one behind me. 

Only half-conscious of it, I excuse myself and then just leave the meeting, to search the Abbey hall outside. I take in the nuns that are currently occupying the hall, taking in their scents one after another. They send me cautious, even frightened looks as they pass me and as I make my way past them, getting a little closer than is appropriate. Her scent lingers in the air, but she's not one of the nuns present. I follow the faint trail that I can still make out and it leads me up a winding staircase onto the second floor of the Abbey and finally into an empty dorm. The smell is strongest here but there is no one there except for me... 

I look around the room, even checking under the beds in case she might be hiding there like a foolish child. At last, I go through the chests at the end of the beds. Nothing... Nothing... I open the third one and the scent nearly overpowers me as I find her discarded blue dress and grey cloak. Peasant garments. Nothing special. No jewlery. No pouch with money. How can such an insignificant girl hold so much power? And how ever did she come to carry the Devil's tooth?  
I take the piece of garment into my hands. It is soft to the touch and, maybe my senses are fooling me, but it actually does still feel a bit warm. I bring it up to my nose, burying my nose in it and take a deep breath. 

By God, the scent of her.. 

It isn't like anything I've ever smelled. It's rich and sweet like wine and just as intoxicating. If this garmant contains but a faint trace of her scent, what must it be like then when she's actually in the same room now that I truly know her scent? It's already clouding my senses, making me lose my head... Making treacherous thoughts swarm through it... I want to take another lungful of it. I want to get high on this otherworldly scent...

No! What blasphemy! What an unholy thing to want! What an utterly vile notion! 

No... Surely this is all some part of her sorcery, part of her evil demon powers to weaken her opponents, make them think her sweet and innocent and lovely before striking them down cold-blooded! 

Well, not me though. I would not become overpowered by her so easily! On the contrary, now that I knew her scent so well, she would be an even easier target for me to find! I would now recognise that scent anywhere!

I must immediately tell father about this. That she's here and that I am now properly able to sniff her out, and she won't be able to escape. Thus, I let go of the fabric, my fingers oddly sticking to it longer than I want them to, and finally close the chest again. I leave the dorm and return to the meeting, waiting at the door until father has dismissed the other paladins and steps up next to me.

Seeing my expression, he frowns at me: „What is it my son?“

I lean towards him and tell him in a low voice, keeping my eyes on the hall, still surveying, always observant: „The enemy is here.“

Father looks around furtively and inquires: „How do you know?“ 

„The scent,“ I tell him, „Fey Kind...“

We look at each other for a long moment. Father seems to have a particularly hard time wanting to believe me because he asks me again whether I'm certain although he knows best that my ability is infallible. Then again it is hardly surprising. I had had the same doubts for a short moment. Well, not doubts exactly, but I rather felt utter incredulity at the fact that the Wolfblood Witch would come here of all places. This is enemy territory after all. Why would she do that? Why risk her life like that? I mean, of course she is most likely here to strike us by infesting the Abbey from within and with the sword she definitely holds formidable power, as has been proven. But still she can't really believe that she will be able to kill all of us on her own, let alone be able to best me – sword or not, she doesn't seem like an experienced warrior judging by the tracks and traces I observed. And there is definitely no other fey demon around to help her, as far as I sensed. So, whatever she is here for, I will find her and stop her before she can cause any damage. And actually, I should be thankful: She is saving me a lot of trouble and makes it so very easy to get to her and the sword this way.

My father looks around the hall now, searching: „Which one?“

„It's not clear,“ I reply but add reasuringly, „Not yet.“

„Well, I'll have to talk to sister Nora then whether there have been any new arrivals as of late. You go and tell all the red paladins to get ready to instruct every sister to assemble in the barn!“ he commands me and then leaves with brisque steps to find sister Nora.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On we go to the end of episode 3 to 1x4 and now we're slowly getting to where I want this fanfiction to go :D

Meanwhile, I do as he commands, helping the other red Paladins assemble all the girls. When I'm done I'm waiting for father and sister Nora and the last of her nuns to arrive in the barn. She doesn't look pleased about any of this. However, I couldn't care less about the inpropriety that I will have to undergo in checking the girls for any fey traces – if the scent shouldn't already prove sufficient...

Oddly enough, I do not pick it up quite as easily as before. Yes, it does linger in the barn faintly, but is not as strong as what hit me when I smelled her clothes. However, I don't let myself be discouraged by that. Seeing how powerful she seemingly is, it could be that she just managed to mask her scent somehow now, having realised we're – I am – on her tracks. And she would have actually gotten away with it, if I hadn't found her garments. But now I will be able to smell her out. She cannot hide from me any longer.

I look at father for permission to proceed now. He nodds and I make way way to the first row of girls.

Some insignificant, all to human girl stares at me. It would be unerving, if I actually cared. I make my way past her, to the second row where the smell of the witch is a bit stronger, if also just marginally. I step in front of a timid nun, looking at me with big eyes, trembling. I rip the head piece of her checking for any tipped ears, marks or scars on their face, discoloured hair.

Nothing.

I brisquely move on to the next row. Nothing.

Up to the last row and the last nun, who smells if anything strongest of her, but, after my ministrations and a few cries from her side, proves to be just another human girl.

Then the girl from the front row speaks up: „Where's the new girl?“

I perk up and turn around to her: „Who?“

„The new girl, Alice. Arrived here last night. Filthy and cuts all over her as if she's been living in the woods...“ she tells me smugly.

My gaze now moves to father and sister Nora and he also turns to her now: „You said there were no new arrivals?“

Sister Nora grows ashen, clutching the cross at her throat. Maybe she didn't even know of this? Or maybe she didn't know just who she offered a safe habour to? But what does it matter? There will be punishment either way. She withheld vital information from us, helped out one of the demons, and not just anyone, but the Wolfblood Witch! There is just no justification. This is treason and she will have to answer for this when this issue has finally been dealt with.

We stride from the room now, following her to the infirmary, where she says sister Irene is and suspects „ _Alice_ “ to be as well. I know its not the witches real name and, shortly, I wonder what she's actually called, but quickly drive that foolish thought from my mind. Why should I even care about her real name? She will be dead soon enough, cleansed in the holy fires and to be forgotten soon after.

However, as we reach the infirmary, we're only greeted by a couple of our own red paladins in uproar. Brother Odo... He's dead. While sister Nora is still calling for sister Iren and the witch, I'm already surveying the room, taking up her scent. My gaze falls on an half open door at the end of the room. They must have gone through there. I move past sister Nora, who has now also noticed the demise of Brother Odo and is becoming paler still, she might even faint soon. I don't pay her any further mind and leave father and the other paladins to deal with her. My mind is now purely focused on finding and capturing the witch demon before she can elude us.

I track her down serval hallways leading deeper into the Abbey. Until I come up at a dead end. Only storage rooms and empty solitary praying chambers here. But no sign of them. And her scent ends here too. I retrace my steps but end up with the same predicament elsewhere. What is this sorcery? She can't have just vanished on the spot. And the demons, as far as I know, are also definitely not able to move through solid walls... Or could she maybe really do something like that? No. I highly doubt it. She must have just laid a misleading trail to distract me while she escaped through some other part of the Abbey.

I growl in anger now and then finally give way to all my amassed frustration and hatred of her escaping me by hitting the nearest wall with my fist. I don't even notice the pain. But it does help to clear my mind and actually aleviates some of the anger I feel. However, now there's room for my own self-loathing and unpleasant thoughts to settle in. Father will not be pleased about this. If I don't find the witch who knows what she will do. What havoc she will wreak...

And father will blame me for letting her escape... for my failure... and thus the Lord will be displeased as well and will make the road to my salvation, to the purification of my soul even harder to achieve... I can't let that happen! I can't let this one witch girl, this demon, ruin all my efforts at gaining my salvation!

With new determination, I make my way back to father, who has already assigned his paladins to search the whole Abbey and watch any entrances and exits thoroughly and scout the forest around the Abbey.

It isn't long before the first scouts return, dragging a nun in tow. I immediately smell that it is not the witch. Also, besides the telling scent, I doubt the brothers would have been able to drag her here while she was still conscious, as is the case with this nun. Father looks at her expectantly, checking her from head to toe. I do the same.

„The witch ran,“ the nun finally explains to us fast and breathlessly, „She turned the woods against me!“

I survey this particular nun a little closer as she hasn't been in the barn before. She's also blessfully human. But the scent of the witch still clings to her, so strong it is almost fogging up my mind again.

„Was she running toward the sun or away from it?“ father inquires further.

„She headed towards Hawksbridge!“ the nun tells him with eager conviction.

Father turns to me then: „I want checkpoints from Hawksbridge to Gramaire.“

I nod and then immediately get down to this new task. The sooner we get the patrols ready the better. The witch is on foot so she should be easy to catch up on. She can't have gotten far. I mount Goliath and spur him on. I will find her. I must. She won't outwit and escape us again!

I'm halfway down the road to Hawksbridge when some nagging realisation makes me break Goliath's galop and reconsider my course of action.

That nun... What if she was helping the witch like sister Nora had? What if the three of them had been working together? What if she had been lying about the direction the witch had escaped to? What if it was not Hawksbridge but Gramaire she had set off to? After all, it also seems more reasonable to head for Gramaire as it is the bigger town, making it easier for her to blend in and hide. And if she'd made it to the river nearby, possibly even finding a boat to use, she would be faster escaping downstream, leading to Grimaire. Moreover, I haven't picked up on her scent all this time, yet I should have actually gathered bits and pieces of it scattered by the wind at least... Why hadn't I thought about all of this sooner?

New frustration grabs ahold of me as I make Goliath turn around and hasten back the way I came to reach Gramaire and the checkpoints set up there. As I've feared, on my way there, I finally smell it again. That otherworldly scent of her. Though only subdued. But it's getting stronger as I'm nearing one of the wagons that's on their way to the market in Gramaire, which actually serves just as the perfect hiding spot... It is one of the bigger ones, that doesn't just hold supplies but can also houses people by the looks of it.

I rush to its front now and force it to stop. After getting off Goliath, I quickly bind him to a nearby branch and then slowly step towards the wagon, picking up the individual scents inside. There it is. One Fey Kind among humans...

Finally, I've got her!

I take in the driver – human – walk past him to the back of the wagon and then rip open the curtain on the back. Six pairs of eyes simulatenously stare at me, shock and bone-deep fear marring their faces. All humans except for one demon. But it is not the witch. It is a man with antlers...

I've just about had it with this witch-demon and her odd aptitude to evade me. At last, I let all my anger and frustration and hatred for these cunny demons and their sympathizers free reign. One after another the people in the wagon get to feel the steel of my blade. The demon first and afterwards the others are quick to follow.

I ignore their screams and cries and pleas for mercy, and cut the driver's begging me to spare him „because he's innocent“ short.

As I do, father's words ring through my ears, lending me strength and reassurance that this is just. That this needs to be done.

_No mercy and no charity for the enemy! These are the imperfection that make the house of God become weak and unstable. These are the imperfections that could bring about its fall. Imperfections that need to be rooted out and cleansed! We can't make any exceptions if we want the house of God to stand tall! All fey demons and whoever aids them must face the rightful wrath of God!_

Yes, showing mercy to fey demons, harbouring them and helping them was just as despicable and deserving of punishment as being fey. It meant their mind had already been infested and corrupted by these demons. By sin. And their souls could only be restored through suffering and death. I am here to make sure the house of God will stand tall and that their corrupted souls get salvation.

Other red paladins have joined me now and I command them to check any other wagons like these that they encounter on their way to Gramaire as they are likely also smuggling further Fey demons along. Meanwhile, I check the forest nearby for any further traces and actually stumble upon Fey sign posts.   
When father finally arrives at the site. I show him these as well.

„What are they?“ he asks me, scowling at the symbols and signs drawn on the ground and woven into the trees.

„Directions,“ I explain. – „To where?“ – „I only have pieces. Somewhere north. Towards the Minotaur. A sanctuary.“

Father gives a noise of understanding and I further lay out to him what I found out from cleansing that wagon: „The Caravans? They only move one or two at a time, but this, this is where we'll find them all!“

„Well done my son! Again God is smiling on us and you, boy, are yet a step closer to salvation! I will have to inform the others to organize patrols and units to search for more of these symbols and that sanctuary. But for now, come, I've received massage of a convoy headed to Brother salt. Apparently they have found the sword, however, in the hands of a no-name mercenary, so I do have my doubts about the authenticity of it. Let's go!“

An hour later, as we near the next checkpoint, we're already greeted by frantic red palladins, urging us to follow them. They lead us to a small waterfall that fills up a little spring at the bottom. The spring is coloured crimson. Lifeless bodies floating in it. Their red cloaks almost blending in with their blood. Red Paladins. Seven of them. Massacred. Slain. Such a display of brutality... This was without a doubt the work of her. The witch demon and as there had been no trace of any sword in the wagon, she definitely still had it on her and made thorough use of it, judging by this horrific scene below us...

Father's voice now reaches me and I look up at him: „Now this... this is a message. She taunts you my son!“

Yes, clearly. Obviously, it wasn't enough for her to have eluded my grasp and brought about one of our brothers demise... Now she had added seven more innocent souls to her death count. Probably also intended as retribution for foiling whatever she had been planning to do to us in the Abbey... And whatever her scent had done to me. How innocent, sweet and aluring it made her seem to be. And however her appearance and demeanour might have fooled sister Nora and the other nun into trusting and aiding here, this right here proved it was all just a facade. Now the witch demon had shown her true nature yet again: The monster – the demon – that hid within her and killed innocent, devoted men of God! She needed to answer for these crimes! She needed to pay! And she would. I would make sure of that! After this, I would definitely not fall for her foul tricks and sourcery. Not even her scent could bewitch me any longer. It just evoked hatred now.

I want to immediately get going to. To avenge my fallen brothers. There is no time to lose. No rest allowed. She must still be near. But father stops me.

„Let us pray!“ he commands and so I have to stay and get ready to pray with him. And, of course, how foolish and neglicient of me to want to forego that... 

“We pray for the lost souls of our fallen brothers, Almighty Father. We beg thee purge us of our weakness, skin us of our mercy, send a heavenly flame to cleanse our corrupted hearts. And should you deem us unworthy, send us your purest soldier, your avenging angel.“

I know it is utterly hubristic to even have this thought, but part of me likes to imagine me to be the avenging angel that God has sent here to cleanse all the wayward souls and get rid of all the evil festering in the world. But of course that is only a ludicrous dream. Though I am now more than ever on a spree to avenge all our brothers that have fallend to the Wolfblood Witch, I certainly am neither pure nor an angle. I know that better than anyone.   
But I hold the hope that once I've helepd my father and the Red Paladins cleanse all the land from demons and corruption that I will finally find my salvation and that God will even grant me such an honor for my hard, perseverant work. And what greater task, what greater purpose could there be than ending the Wolfblood Witch! Achieving that would most certainly be deserving of the greatest honour and the key to my salvation.

My father's next words now rip me out of my daydreams: „We have to keep this incident as hidden as possible. This knowledge cannot leak to Rome... And the people can also not know just what she is capable of and that she is still alive for that matter! We can't have them and the remaining fey demons gain hope and start fighting back... You have to find that witch and bring me that sword! Fast! Only this task is of uttmost importance now! She has to burn for what she did!“

„I will father!“ I swear to him solemnly, „But maybe, until I do, I suggest you find a substitute to burn in her place to not let her figure gain any more popularity in the meantime.“

Father considers this for a moment and then smiles, clapping me on the shoulder: „A splendid idea my son. I will see to this right away.“ – then he finally dismises me. – „Now go!“

I don't have to be told twice and make my way back to Goliath now.


End file.
